


love isnt always enough

by Kneeshee



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Break Up, F/M, Na Jaemin is Whipped, Na Jaemin-centric, Sad Ending, Sad Na Jaemin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:34:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28804365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kneeshee/pseuds/Kneeshee
Summary: I had a lot more planned for this fic. A full detailed background of how the two met... flashbacks of when the relationship started to fray... even a small section where maybe a reconciliation was in their future... but as I looked at the document and read over the work... I realized that I didn't want all of that. that the writing was alright where it was and that anything more would throw off the mood I had going forth [or at least my mood that I had writing it]I hope you all enjoy this as much as I enjoyed imagining it.
Relationships: Na Jaemin/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 4





	love isnt always enough

She was like the sun, but she hadn’t been feeling too sunny.

A part of Jaemin could admit that it was his fault. He kept blowing her off, cancelling dates, or just simply ignoring her. The only time he had even bothered to see was because of a snowstorm that caged everyone in.

He had spent the entire week in her embrace. It was almost like magic watching the light seep back into her. He almost didn’t want to leave.

But he did.

And then it was a slow decent back into the same routine.

He could see it from her social media. On snapchat and Instagram. She was losing her shine again. They talked less but argued more which should’ve been impossible considering how little they talked. He accused her of being unsupportive. Of not understanding that this was his career. His passion. That he loved being an idol.

She just accused of him of simply being an asshole.

He remembered seeing her looking happy in a way he hadn’t seen for weeks. Happy in a way that he wasn’t making her.

It had been at a private party.

A family had paid a lot of money for them to perform at their daughter’s 16th birthday party.

Jaemin remembered joking around with the other 00-liners when she came strolling in. He had to do a double take at seeing her. Her hair was at shoulder length instead of being mid back. And it was a pretty lavender color with little flowers woven between the strands. She wore a fitted off the shoulder dress that emphasized her breasts. A diamond choker rested around her neck. She had on the pandora bracelet he gifted her for her birthday two years with all her favorite charms. The diamond earrings he had gotten her sparkled across the room.

She hadn’t even looked their way.

She glided across the floor towards the gift table setting down several gift bags. She turned just in time to catch the birthday girl leaping at her.

Her smile managed to light up his entire being. He could feel something relax inside of him that he didn’t even know was anxious. He just couldn’t take his eyes off her. The others turned their attention to her once they realized he was no longer contributing.

That was how he could see the light dim in her eyes when the birthday girl began pulling her in their direction.

“Meiko-unnie! Unnie, look! Mom got NCT to perform for my birthday.”

Meiko smiled tightly at her before turning to look at them. She smiled demurely at them inclining her head in greeting. “I see. I guess I should give those concert tickets away then, SungMin?”

SungMin shrieked.

“You got me NCT tickets?

Meiko smirked slightly, “One of your gifts, yes.”

The younger girl looked at her with hearts in her eyes before engulfing her in a hug. “Forget everyone else. You are literally the best girlfriend my brother ever had. The two of you should get back together so that you can be my sister.”

Meiko and Jaemin’s eyes both widened before Meiko coughed violently and backed away. Her face was furious shade of red as she shook her head rapidly flickering her gaze to Jaemin before turning away.

“SungMin, I’ve told you. Your brother and I aren’t getting back together. He has a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend.”

SungMin frowned cutely, “But he doesn’t make you happy, unnie. I’ve heard you crying, and hyung still loves you.”

Meiko poked the girl on her nose as she refused to look the others way. Her face was still filled with embarrassment as she stated, “Ahhh, sometimes love isn’t enough. Now come, it’s your birthday. Let’s not talk about depressing things.”

“But—

“Come now, little star. NCT must prepare for their performance. They don’t need to hear any more about my personal life.”

SungMin blushed as she realized that she just spilled all Meiko’s business to people that were essentially strangers. Meiko gave Jaemin one last look before she let herself be pulled away.

“Are you okay,” Jisung questioned. Jaemin kept his eyes locked onto his girlfriend. With a heavy heart and gritted teeth, he lied, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Throughout their entire performance, Jaemin kept his eyes on his girlfriend. It didn’t really matter as she watched him just as much. Even when it wasn’t him performing, her gaze never strayed away from him. Wayv was halfway through their performance of _Let Me Love You_ when an unknown male walked up to her. He looked at her as if she was the only person in the room despite the woman clutching to his arm.

Jaemin nearly grinded his teeth to dust at how the man wrapped her in his arms and placed two gentle kisses on her cheeks. Meiko blushed furiously before excusing herself. She shot Jaemin a look as she left. He didn’t have anymore songs to perform in the lineup, so he snuck away to follow her.

She was waiting for him not too far down the hallway. A small sad smile was already pulling at her lips. “Nana,” she muttered as he stepped closer to her. He wrapped her in his arms and just held her close. He wanted to apologize for the stupid argument that they had last week. He wanted to apologize for ignoring her. For putting her second to everything else in his life. He wanted to apologize for having the audacity to be jealous of people admiring her when he hasn’t done so himself.

Instead, he only held her closer and buried his face into her hair.

“I’ve missed you, banana,” she whispered as she clutched onto him tighter. He hummed as he pulled back enough to place a kiss on her forehead. “I’ve missed you, too, plum.”

He still remembers when the two of them came up with those ridiculous nicknames, but he never changed the contact of _Baby 🍒💜_

Now would be a good time to apologize. To fight for his relationship that he knew was going down the drain. But he didn’t want to pay attention to that. He just wanted to spend this time with her.

“You look beautiful, baby,” he stated as he ran a hand through her hair being careful to not dislodge her flowers. “I love this color on you.”

She smiled at her softly, “It reminded me of you.”

“Because of the time I wore it?”

Shaking her head softly, “Kind of. But mainly because lavender is such a soft and beautiful color. It makes me feel safe. It makes me feel like I’m at home.”

Home.

Home hadn’t never been a place with her. Always the person. She had been happy with whatever the two of them were doing. It took the bare minimum to please her so that’s why he loved doing extravagant things for her. But he also like doing simple things to. Watching the way her eyes lit up from a surprise picnic or cooking dinner for a movie night. He even remembered the sparkle in her eyes the time he planned for them an at home spa day.

“Meiko, I’m so—”

_“Meiko, we’re about to open the presents. Where’d you go?”_

The two of them startled and backed away from each other. The sound of footsteps grew closer before Meiko grabbed his hand and started dragging him away. _“Where is she? She always does this.”_

A small smirk was playing on her lips as she dragged him into the crevice of some walls. He watched as the boy from earlier walk pass their hiding spot as Meiko covered his mouth and peeked out to see if he left.

Once she was sure that the coast was clear, she turned back towards Jaemin. Her eyes lost that playful spark, and he was left with her soft and loving gaze. He wanted to kiss her again, so he did. He could feel her smile into the kiss.

This was home. In her embrace. He felt at peace. He never wanted to argue with her again.

“Meiko, I’m… I’m sorry. The argument was stupid. I was tired and frustrated and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. “

She pulled back from his embrace fully and took his hand into hers. He could see something in her eyes that hadn’t been there before. Standing on her tiptoes to press her forehead against his, she gave him a peck on his nose. “It’s okay. I understand being an idol is hard work. And yeah, maybe I do miss spending time with you, but there are thousands other girls across the world that love you too.”

“But I can never love them as I do you,” he replied, smiling to himself as she began to blush. Tilting her head some more, she gave him another kiss. “I love you too.”

They stayed in their embrace for a little while longer just enjoying their time with each other before their lives split them a part again. “I don’t want to let you go even when I understand that I have to.”

Jaemin let his eyes slip close this time running a hand through her hair uncaring of the flowers within. “Your hair reminds you of me, yes? Whenever you feel lonely, just look at your hair and know that I’m never too far away.”

“I know,” she whispered. “Its hard, but I know.”

The silence between the two of them is loaded with things that were better left unsaid. An undeniable tension between the two that let them both know what was coming soon. Neither wanted to mention it. Neither wanted to be the one to say it. But if things didn’t change for the better soon, silence would be the only thing left between them.

His grip on her tighten. He couldn’t lose her. He loved her so much. But---

“I can’t keep doing this with you, Jaemin,” she cried suddenly. Tears began to stream down her cheeks like London showers ruining her pretty makeup. He hated seeing her cry. It was worse knowing that he was the reason why. “I tried to be supportive. I tried to convince myself that it didn’t matter that I was always the second choice because it didn’t… you love being an idol and I love that for you. But I can’t stay in this relationship hoping you spare me even a few seconds of attention. I’m not one of your little fans, Nana. I’m supposed to be your girlfriend.”

His grip tightens on her hands. Every word she spoke was like a dagger to his heart, “I promise to do better. I love you, Meiko. I’m sorry that I haven’t been able to show you that properly. You mean so much to me.” But she only shook her head and stepped back, “Sometimes love isn’t enough. I have to do what’s best for me too, Jaemin. I can’t keep waiting on you.”

“Meiko—”

“No,” she broke. Her brows were furrowed together as she backed further away. “I love you, Jaemin. But I can’t stay in this relationship. We’re done.”

He watched as she walked away. The bright lights in the hall seemed to bend to her will. She looked like a goddess. She shined so beautifully. Just like the sun.

And just like the sun, she only left darkness in her wake as his world seemed to dim without her.

**Author's Note:**

> I had a lot more planned for this fic. A full detailed background of how the two met... flashbacks of when the relationship started to fray... even a small section where maybe a reconciliation was in their future... but as I looked at the document and read over the work... I realized that I didn't want all of that. that the writing was alright where it was and that anything more would throw off the mood I had going forth [or at least my mood that I had writing it] 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this as much as I enjoyed imagining it.


End file.
